I've developed a habit over the past couple of months or so of connecting with God before I get out of bed. As soon as I realize that I'm still alive and still me and have a day in front of me, I think/pray something like- "Good morning, Father. Thank you for a new day, thank you for my life, thank you for working in me and around me and help me to see others the way you see them, help me to see my circumstances and opportunities the way you see them. My life is all yours and I want you to rule me and let me know when I'm not cooperating. I need you desperately in every way and want others to see you better through me. Thanks..."
What exactly started this I'm not sure but it's been a combination of learning (in an experiential way)that I was designed to be connected to God. Any thought, words or action that expresses independence is absolutely dysfunctional. Another learning is that it really is possible to pray without ceasing. Essentially the same as being/staying connected but in a more conscious way - the fact that every thought I think can be prayer. If I'm connected (and being connected properly is to be aligned-to know who the boss is, acknowledge it and embrace it)then my thoughts are connected.
The experience of waking up every day is like pushing the 'reset' button on life to a small degree. The vast majority of days prior to my new habit started with some version of this in my head after and in between hitting the snooze button "oh boy, already morning, I'm so tired I wish I could call a timeout on life and just catch up on my sleep- oh well, what's on my plate today? (people, projects, plans, priorities follow in jumbled stress)Do I have time to read my bible? not if I want to get 7 more minutes or make it to the meeting on time. I better get up-I wish it was Saturday- Okay, here it goes...." Not much excitement, not much hope, not connected- just out on my own power...and insecure, anxious, and stressed OR if things seem to all be "going my way" at the moment-I'm proud and pompous. Either way, less than fully human and not attractive at all.
Why did it take me this long to figure this out????
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Fully human
I just spent 3+ days at a gathering at Mt. Hermon with Cheri, good friends and a group of people on a journey. The journey is the same for us all, yet takes us down different roads. I’d love to be able to summarize it in a sentence or even a paragraph but….so….OK- I’ll give it my best and try real hard not to use worn out cliches. Most of us come from the Christian religion and we have seen it become in many ways just that- another religion with the associated rules, rites, guilt, shame, subculture, expectations, who’s who, are you in or out, etc. Many have come to a point of being tired- tired of playing the game. Frankly, tired of ‘doctrine’, tired of living up to the expectations of the rule-keepers, tired of religion. So we dream and we let our well trained minds out of the ‘religion’ box and ask “what did God have in mind when he made us? What does it mean to be fully human? Is that congruent with the ‘abundant life’ or ‘eternal life’?” In other words, did God create us to play a type of waiting game- sticking it out and sucking it up in this life while we wait for that next one? Does human = bad?
The one example that seemed to get more play than others had to do with appearances. One man’s story about his senior picture that had been airbrushed and how he wanted that picture to represent him even though it was the most unlike him. The idea is that we (and especially I) want to project an image that is better than reality. We want to show our ‘good’ side and keep the other side(s) hidden, secret. Someone has said “you are only as sick as your secrets”. And so, part of living in real community is not hiding, but revealing. Not being ashamed of our humanity but exposing all of it- the good, the bad, and the sinful. Confessing to each other is God’s way. It’s healthy. It’s functional- highly functional. Must be how we were made. The more that I keep it to myself, the more unrealistic I am and want others to be about me. Not good=not healthy=not functional=not the way were made.
(I had a feeling this wouldn’t be short) Being the visual type I came to view my life as a pipe- like a pipe that carries water, say…in a fountain. I function best when the water can flow unimpeded through me. So what people notice as they see the fountain is the water, not the pipes that carry the water. The best that I can offer is to be a clean, clear channel for the living water to flow. Anything that hinders the flow or draws attention to the pipe is not fully functional- in fact dysfunctional. My 'pipe' is not identical to any other pipe so the fountain flowing through me will be unique- the expression of Christ living through me will look different than anyone else. Not only is that OK, it's by design and it's the mosaic that makes the body so beautiful (when it's functioning) I just remembered a song from college days "I got a river of life flowing out of me.."
Other thoughts from the weekend:
Heidi (who has adopted 7 boys – 3 from Africa) waking up to pray “God help me, there is no way I can pull this off under my own power” before she rolls out every morning.
Kelley talking about counting the cost and realizing that when we don’t have enough on our own- to negotiate the terms of peace, which in our case with God means full surrender.
The one example that seemed to get more play than others had to do with appearances. One man’s story about his senior picture that had been airbrushed and how he wanted that picture to represent him even though it was the most unlike him. The idea is that we (and especially I) want to project an image that is better than reality. We want to show our ‘good’ side and keep the other side(s) hidden, secret. Someone has said “you are only as sick as your secrets”. And so, part of living in real community is not hiding, but revealing. Not being ashamed of our humanity but exposing all of it- the good, the bad, and the sinful. Confessing to each other is God’s way. It’s healthy. It’s functional- highly functional. Must be how we were made. The more that I keep it to myself, the more unrealistic I am and want others to be about me. Not good=not healthy=not functional=not the way were made.
(I had a feeling this wouldn’t be short) Being the visual type I came to view my life as a pipe- like a pipe that carries water, say…in a fountain. I function best when the water can flow unimpeded through me. So what people notice as they see the fountain is the water, not the pipes that carry the water. The best that I can offer is to be a clean, clear channel for the living water to flow. Anything that hinders the flow or draws attention to the pipe is not fully functional- in fact dysfunctional. My 'pipe' is not identical to any other pipe so the fountain flowing through me will be unique- the expression of Christ living through me will look different than anyone else. Not only is that OK, it's by design and it's the mosaic that makes the body so beautiful (when it's functioning) I just remembered a song from college days "I got a river of life flowing out of me.."
Other thoughts from the weekend:
Heidi (who has adopted 7 boys – 3 from Africa) waking up to pray “God help me, there is no way I can pull this off under my own power” before she rolls out every morning.
Kelley talking about counting the cost and realizing that when we don’t have enough on our own- to negotiate the terms of peace, which in our case with God means full surrender.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
unity through diversity
This sounds attractive and happens to be an ideal named on the coins of our country (in latin) and is also the ideal of the body and bride of Christ, the church.
There's the theory and then there's real life. If we all have the mind of Christ, we would not have divisions. (I originally put a ? after that sentence but then used the .) We would still have many styles of worship and 'denominations' I suppose, but it would never be an "us vs. them"
Having the mind of Christ is the challenge. This would not preclude our individual gifts, talents, preferences but it would "consider others more important than ourselves" and all the rest that we read in Philippians 3 and other passages.
I'm thinking that God must be grieved by the divisions that are a result of not having the mind of Christ. What can I do though about the whole world, or even the "Christian-(little Christ)" community? Well, I can affect everyone I come into contact with and if enough people did the same our communities, culture, and world would reach a tipping point. The kingdom at hand? I think so!
There's the theory and then there's real life. If we all have the mind of Christ, we would not have divisions. (I originally put a ? after that sentence but then used the .) We would still have many styles of worship and 'denominations' I suppose, but it would never be an "us vs. them"
Having the mind of Christ is the challenge. This would not preclude our individual gifts, talents, preferences but it would "consider others more important than ourselves" and all the rest that we read in Philippians 3 and other passages.
I'm thinking that God must be grieved by the divisions that are a result of not having the mind of Christ. What can I do though about the whole world, or even the "Christian-(little Christ)" community? Well, I can affect everyone I come into contact with and if enough people did the same our communities, culture, and world would reach a tipping point. The kingdom at hand? I think so!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The ultimate intention
It's the name of a book that I'm reading (by DeVern F. Fromke). I found it in Cheri's grandmother's library over a year ago and have been reading it sporadically. I love to read and used to read one book at a time but lately I've been reading a few at once. The effects are synergistic and serendipitous so I just go with it and don't try to force the 'recipe'.
This particular book seems a little obscure and it has taken the longest to get through. I've read 8-10 completely since I've started "The Ultimate Intention" and I'm only 2/3 done. On a scale of potential life impact this book is around 9.5 so it's worth the slow go.
Today I read 5 principles which 'coincide' perfectly with my current thoughts. I use " because I understand that God controls these things in ways I don't understand (or try to force) but just accept in awe. Here are the 5 found on p. 124:
1) God's grace is demonstrated that we might be free from captivity, but this freedom is to be used for and unto His ultimate intention.
2) God always asks that which is impossible to the natural man in order that His people will be dependant upon divine, spiritual resources.
3) God designs all things to function properly under His control. He is not content to merely set us free, but longs to "turn our captivity"; that is, He longs to bring us back into His captivity.
4) Man must either submit to God's purposes or become captive to some other law. God's plan will not allow us to live long in liberty apart from law.
5) God's pattern is not spurts of consecration and dedication, but a consistent walk leading into a continuous unfolding revelation of His plan and purpose.
This particular book seems a little obscure and it has taken the longest to get through. I've read 8-10 completely since I've started "The Ultimate Intention" and I'm only 2/3 done. On a scale of potential life impact this book is around 9.5 so it's worth the slow go.
Today I read 5 principles which 'coincide' perfectly with my current thoughts. I use " because I understand that God controls these things in ways I don't understand (or try to force) but just accept in awe. Here are the 5 found on p. 124:
1) God's grace is demonstrated that we might be free from captivity, but this freedom is to be used for and unto His ultimate intention.
2) God always asks that which is impossible to the natural man in order that His people will be dependant upon divine, spiritual resources.
3) God designs all things to function properly under His control. He is not content to merely set us free, but longs to "turn our captivity"; that is, He longs to bring us back into His captivity.
4) Man must either submit to God's purposes or become captive to some other law. God's plan will not allow us to live long in liberty apart from law.
5) God's pattern is not spurts of consecration and dedication, but a consistent walk leading into a continuous unfolding revelation of His plan and purpose.
Friday, October 31, 2008
One thing
The synthesizer in me is always trying to simplify.
What would it be like if, instead of trying to remember a few hundred things every day, I could boil it down to 3 or 4? That's really attractive because it stresses me out to think I may be forgetting something. So there are many levels of application here: the most obvious, external is the to do list- calls to make, things to do, bills to pay, places to go, etc. My answer is to remember Outlook and my notebook. Outlook has appointments and general recurring tasks. The notebook has specific recurring tasks and somewhat of a journal. So I can "remember" thousands by just remembering 2 things. That was easy. It just involves the habit of learning to enter info into the appropriate document. Organization 101.
Now move to a more philosophical level. How can I remember all the "beliefs" and "ought to's" that I should? Since this is not a tangible, "check it off" realm- it's a bit more slippery but because it affects my life on a deeper level and drives the life of the paragraph above, it is essential that my 'system' for remembering here is very purposed. I'm not suggesting that I can put my spiritual life in a box with a system and be content. What I'm searching for is the "one thing" that is the core, the starting point, the foundation, the first grid which all succesive layers of the grid must be true to. It has boiled down to this for me: Be right with God. Boy, that sounded really profound. Here's my thought behind the word "right"- I can determine right from wrong based on design or original intent. God has made everything on purpose with a design and the best I can do is to be completely in line with that- right. The first "right" is that I was made to be in relationship with Him. Any sense, idea, or act of independence is flat out wrong. Because this is not the state that I was born into, I have to reprogram and acknowledge this on a continual basis. The first time that I "connected" was an amazing experience- the thought of being right where I was made to be was overwhelming in a good way. My nature is not to stay there though and so part of the "one thing" is to remind myself of this truth: I am desperate and hopeless without God, I am fully alive (what I was made to be) when He lives in me and through me. A mystery yes, but a true and right one. The fact that He designed us to recognize, desire, and enjoy this is true love- I'm so grateful right now just thinking of that.
The second part of the "one thing" is that, in our relationship we are not equals- he rules and i submit. In this relationship it's a beautiful thing. In others it gets a bad rap because no one is perfect and there is much abuse. The kingdom is all about ruling, it's all about soveignty, it's all about God being the creator and me being the creation. When this is as it should be, my life is right! The core is in place and so my preoccupation can stop about all the lists of do's and don'ts and shoulds and shon'ts (just go with it for the ryhme). I may be able to stop asking WWJD and actually observe Him through me.
That's the "one thing" for me. I need to be connected to and ruled by my Father, the King of Kings. It's just amazing that what I need I also crave and any other option is so empty.
What would it be like if, instead of trying to remember a few hundred things every day, I could boil it down to 3 or 4? That's really attractive because it stresses me out to think I may be forgetting something. So there are many levels of application here: the most obvious, external is the to do list- calls to make, things to do, bills to pay, places to go, etc. My answer is to remember Outlook and my notebook. Outlook has appointments and general recurring tasks. The notebook has specific recurring tasks and somewhat of a journal. So I can "remember" thousands by just remembering 2 things. That was easy. It just involves the habit of learning to enter info into the appropriate document. Organization 101.
Now move to a more philosophical level. How can I remember all the "beliefs" and "ought to's" that I should? Since this is not a tangible, "check it off" realm- it's a bit more slippery but because it affects my life on a deeper level and drives the life of the paragraph above, it is essential that my 'system' for remembering here is very purposed. I'm not suggesting that I can put my spiritual life in a box with a system and be content. What I'm searching for is the "one thing" that is the core, the starting point, the foundation, the first grid which all succesive layers of the grid must be true to. It has boiled down to this for me: Be right with God. Boy, that sounded really profound. Here's my thought behind the word "right"- I can determine right from wrong based on design or original intent. God has made everything on purpose with a design and the best I can do is to be completely in line with that- right. The first "right" is that I was made to be in relationship with Him. Any sense, idea, or act of independence is flat out wrong. Because this is not the state that I was born into, I have to reprogram and acknowledge this on a continual basis. The first time that I "connected" was an amazing experience- the thought of being right where I was made to be was overwhelming in a good way. My nature is not to stay there though and so part of the "one thing" is to remind myself of this truth: I am desperate and hopeless without God, I am fully alive (what I was made to be) when He lives in me and through me. A mystery yes, but a true and right one. The fact that He designed us to recognize, desire, and enjoy this is true love- I'm so grateful right now just thinking of that.
The second part of the "one thing" is that, in our relationship we are not equals- he rules and i submit. In this relationship it's a beautiful thing. In others it gets a bad rap because no one is perfect and there is much abuse. The kingdom is all about ruling, it's all about soveignty, it's all about God being the creator and me being the creation. When this is as it should be, my life is right! The core is in place and so my preoccupation can stop about all the lists of do's and don'ts and shoulds and shon'ts (just go with it for the ryhme). I may be able to stop asking WWJD and actually observe Him through me.
That's the "one thing" for me. I need to be connected to and ruled by my Father, the King of Kings. It's just amazing that what I need I also crave and any other option is so empty.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The bridge
| Allow a few minutes afterward to ponder...
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Sunday, October 19, 2008
An interview on community
Jen Lemen was on the same plane to Africa that I was, but had a different itinerary while there. I got to know her on the plane and just found this interview with her about community. This is attractive and if the economic conditions speed this up, well then..... bring it on:
http://www.letterstomydaughters.com/2008/07/whats-your-idea-of-community-interview.html
http://www.letterstomydaughters.com/2008/07/whats-your-idea-of-community-interview.html
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Exhaling (and other personal notes)
When I post like I just did below, it feels like a big exhale. It's a similar feeling that I have right after completing a proposal for a major project. WHEW!!!!!!!
I took an online test from a book called "now, discover your strengths". What I discovered was my 5 themes. Out of the 34 strengths these were determined to be mine: Intellection, Connectedness, Input, Achiever, and Responsibility. The point of the book is to concentrate on strengths and don't put so much time into trying to strengthen weaknesses. I like that! and it seems like that aligns well with reality.
Starting this blog was a good outlet for "intellection" (did anyone tell those authors that spell check does not appreciate that word?) Writing down my thoughts helps me to articulate and crystallize ideas. Reading (and now, multiple books at a time) is huge for my mental health- I could read all day.
Getting on Facebook is a great outlet for connectedness (and I'm really surprised that spell check buys that word- maybe I already added it to my dictionary). My brother Todd and I share this connectedness- we tease about his 'small world' theory, but deep down inside I'm a subscriber as well. I love watching people connect, hearing about people connect, to each other and their creator.
Acheiver and Responsibility find plenty of outlet as the owner of a remodeling firm. It's the Input label that has me a little confused. I may need to reread that part but if it's about organizing and systemitizing then I get it. My email folders and internet bookmarks look like the library of congress- it may be borderline OCD. When my physical world is organized I have peace. Isn't everyone like that? (ooops, a little tounge in cheek. sorry)
Speaking of PEACE, it's super high on my values. Probably right under TRUTH. I love peace but will not, can not sacrifice truth for it. (eternal, absolute truth- not temporary or relative truth)
Peace, J
I took an online test from a book called "now, discover your strengths". What I discovered was my 5 themes. Out of the 34 strengths these were determined to be mine: Intellection, Connectedness, Input, Achiever, and Responsibility. The point of the book is to concentrate on strengths and don't put so much time into trying to strengthen weaknesses. I like that! and it seems like that aligns well with reality.
Starting this blog was a good outlet for "intellection" (did anyone tell those authors that spell check does not appreciate that word?) Writing down my thoughts helps me to articulate and crystallize ideas. Reading (and now, multiple books at a time) is huge for my mental health- I could read all day.
Getting on Facebook is a great outlet for connectedness (and I'm really surprised that spell check buys that word- maybe I already added it to my dictionary). My brother Todd and I share this connectedness- we tease about his 'small world' theory, but deep down inside I'm a subscriber as well. I love watching people connect, hearing about people connect, to each other and their creator.
Acheiver and Responsibility find plenty of outlet as the owner of a remodeling firm. It's the Input label that has me a little confused. I may need to reread that part but if it's about organizing and systemitizing then I get it. My email folders and internet bookmarks look like the library of congress- it may be borderline OCD. When my physical world is organized I have peace. Isn't everyone like that? (ooops, a little tounge in cheek. sorry)
Speaking of PEACE, it's super high on my values. Probably right under TRUTH. I love peace but will not, can not sacrifice truth for it. (eternal, absolute truth- not temporary or relative truth)
Peace, J
Aligning with Reality
I had to get new front tires (and brakes) on Thursday because I just noticed that one was showing steel on the inside. The cause? The tires were not aligned. So off to another shop to take care of that. And as "ounce of prevention, pound of cure" would have it- I spent $ 70 for the alignment and $ 400 for two tires (fairly big truck). Yeah- I could have put off that tire purchase for another x months if my alignment was good. Here's where I'm headed- it's always good to be aligned.... but there a lot of ideas, philosophies, religions, etc. to align to, right? How can I know if I'm aligned to the right one? Again, this another subject that can get really deep and theoretical but I'd like to keep it practical. Ha. Well, it's worth a try.
There are universal principles in so many threads: the physical sphere, the mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. We know that if we choose to violate these "laws" we will suffer the consequences. (how many examples should I list before I continue?) Man has learned to overcome some laws (say gravity) by using another law in a more powerful way (lift of an aircraft wing from air pressure differences). Is it possible to overcome all laws by using some other law in a more powerful way? That depends on what we mean by 'overcome' and 'powerful' I suppose, but to keep it practical- if a law is a universal principle, it will always be in effect. The effect of that law may not be apparent or obvious if another law has greater influence over the effects of the first law. Stay with me. Ok, 5 minute water break. Could it be that we have fooled ourselves about this in more important, eternal matters? What if we admit that there are spiritual laws and yet the reason that we choose not to live by these laws is that we invoke other laws that have a more perceived, temporary benefit or effect that nullifies (from our perception, or in our economy) the effects of the laws that we're not too hip on? If I lost anyone at this point, write me. What I'm doing here is mostly introspective analysis and letting you in on it. I do believe that this is a universal issue though.
Now to get personal- I know that there is a law of connection, I'll call it. We were made to be connected to God. He made us to function in relationship with Him. Different words help different people, so we can talk about 'abiding' or 'dependence', whatever the word- the idea is that we were made for this and He has made it possible. Our souls crave this and we crave with an intensity that will not give up easily. The problem is that we mislabel this craving, or 'feed' the craving with a poor substitute, or even deny the craving- either out of hopelessness or a sense of (false) spiritual piety. Any of these will wear my tires wrong, so to speak, because they are not aligned with Reality. (I capitalized on purpose because the ultimate reality is God, who defines the rest of reality) If we live out of alignment, there will be consequences. They may not be apparent or obvious right away but they will be present. Cars don't drive the same when the alignment is out. Lives don't live the same when the alignment is out. And yet, I know this and choose at times to ignore or suspend the law of connection (gravity) in favor of the law of independence (difference in air pressure). The aircraft called 'self' works like this but it does take a lot of energy and at some point gravity will win. My point in this confusing car tire/airplane wing picture is that when I choose to buck the universal principles of life, it will have effects; some are perhaps desirable (at least temporarily) and some not. Why would I think about bucking these laws- why even entertain the idea of independence? One reason is that I don't so much entertain and then consciously decide- it's more of a reaction or impulse, it's the natural human tendency. The other reason is that I'm believing a lie- something else is better than God, to put it bluntly. How do I live then, like I know I should when I have these natural tendencies and attractive lies? This is where a change in belief systems is needed. If I'm living misaligned, then I'm believing something not true, something that doesn't exist in the ultimate Reality. So how do I change my belief system? (not a wholesale change, because there must be enough of a solid core to be able to even realize that some of the outer layers aren't right)
A good place to start changing the 'bad' is to name and confirm the good. I won't try to build a comprehensive list here. Let's do the bare bones for now, we can always go back and add. The important thing is to get it right. This is my core: God created everything for a purpose, including me. He has made me to live, truly live, when I am in right relationship with Him. He has also made the way for this to be possible. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Connecting to God (being in right relationship) requires that I accept, acknowledge, and live the simple reality that He is Lord. His proper place is Ruler, King. He is Sovereign and whatever he reigns is right- fulfilling design=right and when I put myself under his dominion, I am living like l was created to live. Seeking first the kingdom of God is really nothing more than aligning myself with Reality- understanding that God is King, He deserves to rule, and it's in the best interest of the universe to allow Him to rule. That is my core. It's solid and it will not change, so help me God. I'll confirm this (til kingdom come!) and it will help me to identify the beliefs that need to be changed. (sidenote on 'allowing' God to rule-this sounds like the mother of all paradoxes and so I will let it rest for now, be OK with it and address it later? yeah)
There are universal principles in so many threads: the physical sphere, the mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. We know that if we choose to violate these "laws" we will suffer the consequences. (how many examples should I list before I continue?) Man has learned to overcome some laws (say gravity) by using another law in a more powerful way (lift of an aircraft wing from air pressure differences). Is it possible to overcome all laws by using some other law in a more powerful way? That depends on what we mean by 'overcome' and 'powerful' I suppose, but to keep it practical- if a law is a universal principle, it will always be in effect. The effect of that law may not be apparent or obvious if another law has greater influence over the effects of the first law. Stay with me. Ok, 5 minute water break. Could it be that we have fooled ourselves about this in more important, eternal matters? What if we admit that there are spiritual laws and yet the reason that we choose not to live by these laws is that we invoke other laws that have a more perceived, temporary benefit or effect that nullifies (from our perception, or in our economy) the effects of the laws that we're not too hip on? If I lost anyone at this point, write me. What I'm doing here is mostly introspective analysis and letting you in on it. I do believe that this is a universal issue though.
Now to get personal- I know that there is a law of connection, I'll call it. We were made to be connected to God. He made us to function in relationship with Him. Different words help different people, so we can talk about 'abiding' or 'dependence', whatever the word- the idea is that we were made for this and He has made it possible. Our souls crave this and we crave with an intensity that will not give up easily. The problem is that we mislabel this craving, or 'feed' the craving with a poor substitute, or even deny the craving- either out of hopelessness or a sense of (false) spiritual piety. Any of these will wear my tires wrong, so to speak, because they are not aligned with Reality. (I capitalized on purpose because the ultimate reality is God, who defines the rest of reality) If we live out of alignment, there will be consequences. They may not be apparent or obvious right away but they will be present. Cars don't drive the same when the alignment is out. Lives don't live the same when the alignment is out. And yet, I know this and choose at times to ignore or suspend the law of connection (gravity) in favor of the law of independence (difference in air pressure). The aircraft called 'self' works like this but it does take a lot of energy and at some point gravity will win. My point in this confusing car tire/airplane wing picture is that when I choose to buck the universal principles of life, it will have effects; some are perhaps desirable (at least temporarily) and some not. Why would I think about bucking these laws- why even entertain the idea of independence? One reason is that I don't so much entertain and then consciously decide- it's more of a reaction or impulse, it's the natural human tendency. The other reason is that I'm believing a lie- something else is better than God, to put it bluntly. How do I live then, like I know I should when I have these natural tendencies and attractive lies? This is where a change in belief systems is needed. If I'm living misaligned, then I'm believing something not true, something that doesn't exist in the ultimate Reality. So how do I change my belief system? (not a wholesale change, because there must be enough of a solid core to be able to even realize that some of the outer layers aren't right)
A good place to start changing the 'bad' is to name and confirm the good. I won't try to build a comprehensive list here. Let's do the bare bones for now, we can always go back and add. The important thing is to get it right. This is my core: God created everything for a purpose, including me. He has made me to live, truly live, when I am in right relationship with Him. He has also made the way for this to be possible. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Connecting to God (being in right relationship) requires that I accept, acknowledge, and live the simple reality that He is Lord. His proper place is Ruler, King. He is Sovereign and whatever he reigns is right- fulfilling design=right and when I put myself under his dominion, I am living like l was created to live. Seeking first the kingdom of God is really nothing more than aligning myself with Reality- understanding that God is King, He deserves to rule, and it's in the best interest of the universe to allow Him to rule. That is my core. It's solid and it will not change, so help me God. I'll confirm this (til kingdom come!) and it will help me to identify the beliefs that need to be changed. (sidenote on 'allowing' God to rule-this sounds like the mother of all paradoxes and so I will let it rest for now, be OK with it and address it later? yeah)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Loving, yet not approving
This is huge, God help me get it right here.... I've been in a couple of situations with people that have made bad choices and hurt me. My challenge is to love them while not approving of their words, actions, attitudes, etc. Is it possible? I have to think so, to try and hope that I can.
I'm talking about real love, not just a "virtual/spiritual" idea that doesn't express itself. I want to experience and express this kind of unconditional love which I know God has. So I'm thinking out loud: God loves everyone- even those that ignore, blaspheme, misrepresent and accuse Him. He has demonstrated this on a personal level and on a macro scale (if we have ears to hear and eyes to see). We (who follow) have been given the ministry of reconciliation, which in it's healthiest expression, is holistic - not just words but also actions-not just head but also heart. This light seems to shine the brightest where it is darkest so while the normal person will love those that love them, it is something special to love in spite of rejection and ridicule. Jesus Christ is my ultimate example and coupled with the last post of a theme "just do it", I want to act out love even when I don't "feel" like it. The feelings catch right up - a lot faster that the actions catch up when I think about doing it for too long. "Delayed obedience is disobedience" is what I remember hearing in our class on raising kids. And I'm still a child of God so I'll accept that.
The hard part for me is that God loves someone more than we ever could and still lets them ruin their life and others'. In some cases He intervenes and in others it appears that He doesn't. I'm not sure how to translate that when, for example, it's my own child that's making bad choices. The level of intervention wanes as they age but never goes away. I catch myself asking "how much I should intervene?" when my main focus should be "how much love can I show?". If and when intervention is needed, it will be framed in this context of relationship and love-far more effective than just an authoritarian style cut-the-losses rescue.
This "love showing" will speak to others like nothing else can and gives an accurate representation of God, which makes reconciliation easier and more desirable. Can I handle and be truthful asking "what is my agenda?", "what is God's agenda?" and "is there a difference?" For me it pretty much boils down to dieing to my own agenda/self and accepting (acting on) God's agenda. Yesterday was a test, by email, of precisely this and I really wanted at first to not offer grace but ended up acting on what I knew God would want. Guess what? the feelings followed-and right away. About as fast as I committed to giving the grace, my feeling changed toward the person. Dying sounds pretty extreme, but that's how it's called by Paul. Actually 'put to death'- basically kill it. I've been hearing that for the last three Sundays now and know that's what it takes. So it comes down to killing in order to love. THAT's a paradox!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Changing belief systems
This was the title of a recent sales seminar I attended, which is why I went. But it's also what I want to do- not in a wholesale way but in respect to things that I can see that need to be changed.
After all, I've concluded that belief is demonstrated through life. Beliefs are meaningless, even worse than worthless if they aren't evident in my life. Why worse? Because it reinforces the idea that I can intellectually subscribe to one thing and live another-an idea straight from the enemies playbook.
I just read in a book to "act yourself into new ways of thinking, don't try to think yourself into new ways of acting". The point being, to me, is to just starting doing, being, acting what I want to believe instead of trying to get it all sorted out straight in my head before living it. It's a type of paradox I guess and it can activate my hypocrisy meter but the alternatives aren't attractive. For me personally I fight a little bit of perfectionism- thinking that it all has to be in place before it's implemented. That's critical for sending a man to the moon but this is just life and part of growing is falling down a little and learning how to walk better. Grateful and humble- a good posture for changing....
After all, I've concluded that belief is demonstrated through life. Beliefs are meaningless, even worse than worthless if they aren't evident in my life. Why worse? Because it reinforces the idea that I can intellectually subscribe to one thing and live another-an idea straight from the enemies playbook.
I just read in a book to "act yourself into new ways of thinking, don't try to think yourself into new ways of acting". The point being, to me, is to just starting doing, being, acting what I want to believe instead of trying to get it all sorted out straight in my head before living it. It's a type of paradox I guess and it can activate my hypocrisy meter but the alternatives aren't attractive. For me personally I fight a little bit of perfectionism- thinking that it all has to be in place before it's implemented. That's critical for sending a man to the moon but this is just life and part of growing is falling down a little and learning how to walk better. Grateful and humble- a good posture for changing....
Praying
Have you ever prayed and not realized it?
At some point in my life I understood that folded hands and closed eyes were not essential to God hearing me. I know now, having kids, that those are great habits to keep from being distracted. I still remember praying in the car as a kid with my family and thinking how cool it was to be Dad, because he got to keep his eyes open. So I grew up with a habit (good for beginning) and have thought alot about prayer/praying lately. The scripture that will not leave me alone is "pray without ceasing". I'm sure the commentaries have much to say about this (haven't read them so I'm not debating) but I think it wouldn't be there if it weren't possible. Oh yeah, just had a memory of a guy from my childhood church (I was 11-19 yrs old) who would slip into KJV language when praying in public (I'm guessing in private, too). I know plenty of people who revert to their mother tounge because it's their "heart language", but switching to a "prayer language"? Now that I say it like that, I hear a vocabulary from some people that only comes out in public prayer- when's the last time I heard "bestow" anywhere except a prayer? I digress...
So I say it must be possible to pray without ceasing (we're not told to do anything impossible-with Christ all things are possible) And if this is the premise, it requires changing perceptions, definitions, or expectations about praying. To pray:
do I have to stop all other activity?
can i pray while driving? while walking? while talking? while thinking about something else?
Maybe because of our human experience and call waiting, we think that we have to put one conversation on hold before beginning another. God, however, can and does hear millions (billions?) of people at the same time. And He hears us think. No need to be vocal. He knows nothing of call waiting. He can read my mind. This is either terrifying or comforting.
My mental image of praying non-stop is a continuous conversation in our head that includes God in the loop. We always have a thought stream going, even when we're daydreaming. When we choose to close the loop and not let God in, we are in a dysfunctional, independant, not-what-we-were-made-to-do place. This is our history, this is our natural bent-to be self-legislating and independant. We were created for connection though and when we are connected, we know this is where we belong.
There is also some human or western tendancy to seperate prayer from everyday conversation. At a family dinner, I'll actually interrupt a good conversation to "pray" because the food is getting cold, hoping that the conversation will pick back up again when I'm done. I know that it's OK to start praying without eating but I also know that when you let something slip, then enemy would be more than happy to just let it dissappear. What about this: we sit down and the conversation starts and we talk about God and thank Him with our eyes open to each other and carry on the conversation about God/to God? I would love to blur the line and include talking to God and about God in regular conversations.
Another related thought:
Jonah 2 quotes Jonahs prayer inside the fish- Jonah talks about talking to God in his prayer. That wouldn't fit inside my previous prayer box but there it is. How can you be talking to someone when you're talking about them? This is God we're talking about, not just anyone. God considered it a prayer when Jonah was talking about God.
At some point in my life I understood that folded hands and closed eyes were not essential to God hearing me. I know now, having kids, that those are great habits to keep from being distracted. I still remember praying in the car as a kid with my family and thinking how cool it was to be Dad, because he got to keep his eyes open. So I grew up with a habit (good for beginning) and have thought alot about prayer/praying lately. The scripture that will not leave me alone is "pray without ceasing". I'm sure the commentaries have much to say about this (haven't read them so I'm not debating) but I think it wouldn't be there if it weren't possible. Oh yeah, just had a memory of a guy from my childhood church (I was 11-19 yrs old) who would slip into KJV language when praying in public (I'm guessing in private, too). I know plenty of people who revert to their mother tounge because it's their "heart language", but switching to a "prayer language"? Now that I say it like that, I hear a vocabulary from some people that only comes out in public prayer- when's the last time I heard "bestow" anywhere except a prayer? I digress...
So I say it must be possible to pray without ceasing (we're not told to do anything impossible-with Christ all things are possible) And if this is the premise, it requires changing perceptions, definitions, or expectations about praying. To pray:
do I have to stop all other activity?
can i pray while driving? while walking? while talking? while thinking about something else?
Maybe because of our human experience and call waiting, we think that we have to put one conversation on hold before beginning another. God, however, can and does hear millions (billions?) of people at the same time. And He hears us think. No need to be vocal. He knows nothing of call waiting. He can read my mind. This is either terrifying or comforting.
My mental image of praying non-stop is a continuous conversation in our head that includes God in the loop. We always have a thought stream going, even when we're daydreaming. When we choose to close the loop and not let God in, we are in a dysfunctional, independant, not-what-we-were-made-to-do place. This is our history, this is our natural bent-to be self-legislating and independant. We were created for connection though and when we are connected, we know this is where we belong.
There is also some human or western tendancy to seperate prayer from everyday conversation. At a family dinner, I'll actually interrupt a good conversation to "pray" because the food is getting cold, hoping that the conversation will pick back up again when I'm done. I know that it's OK to start praying without eating but I also know that when you let something slip, then enemy would be more than happy to just let it dissappear. What about this: we sit down and the conversation starts and we talk about God and thank Him with our eyes open to each other and carry on the conversation about God/to God? I would love to blur the line and include talking to God and about God in regular conversations.
Another related thought:
Jonah 2 quotes Jonahs prayer inside the fish- Jonah talks about talking to God in his prayer. That wouldn't fit inside my previous prayer box but there it is. How can you be talking to someone when you're talking about them? This is God we're talking about, not just anyone. God considered it a prayer when Jonah was talking about God.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
commuting or commotion?
As I ride the action verb wave of titles I come to a Y. This weekend I was challenged to morph "community" with a sense of life, growth, or fluidness (new word?) so two possible combos are commuting (community with the generic "ing" or "mutating") or commotion (...with motion).
Others: commovement (that sounds big business combine-a-name or gov't), commending (nice, if it wasn't already taken)
I'm reading "the forgotten ways" by Alan Hirsch and just found his blog today (even posted). Highly recommended to me and from me about the essence of reproducing the life of Christ, mostly in a community context. I won't attempt to review the book, especially because I'm not finished, but it is non-hype, non-trendy, solid, thought provoking-hopefully life changing words.
The challenge- allow myself to be changed by my community as they are led by the Spirit under the Lordship of Christ. I can do this. Not. Christ in me. It comes full circle. Love it!
Others: commovement (that sounds big business combine-a-name or gov't), commending (nice, if it wasn't already taken)
I'm reading "the forgotten ways" by Alan Hirsch and just found his blog today (even posted). Highly recommended to me and from me about the essence of reproducing the life of Christ, mostly in a community context. I won't attempt to review the book, especially because I'm not finished, but it is non-hype, non-trendy, solid, thought provoking-hopefully life changing words.
The challenge- allow myself to be changed by my community as they are led by the Spirit under the Lordship of Christ. I can do this. Not. Christ in me. It comes full circle. Love it!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Deciding
or - how to make decisions. like I could explain in one paragraph when there are boatloads of books (probably) written about this.
here's my best shot, but first a personal intro... some days I find it very easy to make decisions and some days I get in the "paralysis of analysis" mode and can't decide on the simplest, minor issues. I'm not totally sure what makes the difference but this is what I do know:
- I can't see all the consequences of any decision I make - God can
- even if I could see, I don't necessarily know what is best for me - God does
- I really do want what is best for me - God and I may have different definitions of best
- He made me and he made me to be dependent on him
- I need Him to determine what is best and to guide me there
- When I make a decision without consulting and dependence, it is automatically a wrong decision. It may look right externally, but it reinforces independence --> pride --> sin
So from one perspective, I'm bound and incapable and all my decisions are wrong if my approach is wrong- Ok that's depressing! But God through His Spirit can save the day IF I continually lean on Him for wisdom and express my total dependence along with gratitude for loving me, wanting the best for me, and giving me tools (including my mind) to make good decisions.
This could get philosophical/theological really fast and I'd rather keep it practical and useful. The book "Blink" says that free will is an illusion and I can see the point based on the authors premise. Christians have been arguing free will vs. election (or some variation) for ages and I think it's not really a "vs." thing- somewhere in God's dimension, it's both/and. One choice that we can make is to trust God or not. All other choices fall on this. I don't think it's really possible to separate my trust for "eternal security" from my trust for my next decision or breath of air for that matter. And what is my next decision really? Most of the time I'm not even aware of the decisions I'm making- they are so automatic, intuitive, and quick.
This may be a matter of being more aware - not just to the decisions I'm making but more importantly to what is informing those decisions, especially the subconscious ones. How can I be more aware of this? Is it Ok to not always have a standard answer for these questions, but use the question itself to keep the conversation with God alive? Maybe he likes it when we don't always have the pat answer because that keeps us communicating with Him and others.
Father, I want to be fully leaning on you 24/7, knowing that any decision made apart from you is automatically wrong and not best for me. This is somewhat unnerving and I know you don't want it to be and you have grace, amazing grace and I'm so thankful. Please help me to live in your reality more, to open myself- be vulnerable to you and others, to just be a channel of your incredible love to those around me. I realize that I can't make any right decisions without you and it's so foolish to try. Please remind me when I start down that road of independence. THANK YOU!!!
here's my best shot, but first a personal intro... some days I find it very easy to make decisions and some days I get in the "paralysis of analysis" mode and can't decide on the simplest, minor issues. I'm not totally sure what makes the difference but this is what I do know:
- I can't see all the consequences of any decision I make - God can
- even if I could see, I don't necessarily know what is best for me - God does
- I really do want what is best for me - God and I may have different definitions of best
- He made me and he made me to be dependent on him
- I need Him to determine what is best and to guide me there
- When I make a decision without consulting and dependence, it is automatically a wrong decision. It may look right externally, but it reinforces independence --> pride --> sin
So from one perspective, I'm bound and incapable and all my decisions are wrong if my approach is wrong- Ok that's depressing! But God through His Spirit can save the day IF I continually lean on Him for wisdom and express my total dependence along with gratitude for loving me, wanting the best for me, and giving me tools (including my mind) to make good decisions.
This could get philosophical/theological really fast and I'd rather keep it practical and useful. The book "Blink" says that free will is an illusion and I can see the point based on the authors premise. Christians have been arguing free will vs. election (or some variation) for ages and I think it's not really a "vs." thing- somewhere in God's dimension, it's both/and. One choice that we can make is to trust God or not. All other choices fall on this. I don't think it's really possible to separate my trust for "eternal security" from my trust for my next decision or breath of air for that matter. And what is my next decision really? Most of the time I'm not even aware of the decisions I'm making- they are so automatic, intuitive, and quick.
This may be a matter of being more aware - not just to the decisions I'm making but more importantly to what is informing those decisions, especially the subconscious ones. How can I be more aware of this? Is it Ok to not always have a standard answer for these questions, but use the question itself to keep the conversation with God alive? Maybe he likes it when we don't always have the pat answer because that keeps us communicating with Him and others.
Father, I want to be fully leaning on you 24/7, knowing that any decision made apart from you is automatically wrong and not best for me. This is somewhat unnerving and I know you don't want it to be and you have grace, amazing grace and I'm so thankful. Please help me to live in your reality more, to open myself- be vulnerable to you and others, to just be a channel of your incredible love to those around me. I realize that I can't make any right decisions without you and it's so foolish to try. Please remind me when I start down that road of independence. THANK YOU!!!
Monday, August 11, 2008
starting
This is the mini-version of what would happen were I to design and build my own house. The house would never happen due to all the changes-first on paper, then after construction began. So no custom house until I overcome whatever OCD causes that. But the blog has begun....
I'm leaving out humor, at least I intend to. it may sneak in but it won't work well, especially my style.
thought for the day -- God is infinite (not just in a math way, but in personality) and so my knowledge of Him will never be complete (at least in this life) so if my relationship with Him seems stagnant, is something wrong? (yes) What causes the relationship to go stagnant? (tons of books written already on this but.... could it be that I'm not comfortable with what I may 'discover' next? especially if what I've already come to know doesn't fit in my 'box'? Do I guage my 'maturity' by where i perceive others around me are?
I'm leaving out humor, at least I intend to. it may sneak in but it won't work well, especially my style.
thought for the day -- God is infinite (not just in a math way, but in personality) and so my knowledge of Him will never be complete (at least in this life) so if my relationship with Him seems stagnant, is something wrong? (yes) What causes the relationship to go stagnant? (tons of books written already on this but.... could it be that I'm not comfortable with what I may 'discover' next? especially if what I've already come to know doesn't fit in my 'box'? Do I guage my 'maturity' by where i perceive others around me are?
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