3 thoughts for 2012. OK maybe one...

I've found that I like to have three words, thoughts or ideas for a season. For the year 2010 the words were Perspective, Shalom, and Incarnate. Obviously they don't lose all meaning when the clock strikes 2011 and in fact, when 2011 came I didn't have something definite to replace them. I did write a blog about the 3 words and as I remember the first two words came and it took awhile for the third to hit. When it did it I knew right away. I still love and treasure the meaning in those 3 words and hope that they continue to grow and permeate my life.

The latest thoughts are: Stay connected, (I completely blanked on the second thought) and live each moment with purpose. I don't edit these posts (except for grammar and structure) and I'm writing off the top of my head so this is what happens when I don't write things down. It's funny that the first two thoughts have been with me for awhile but only in my head. It wasn't until just this week that the third thought formed and now I can't remember the second one. wow...

This takes me on a tangent (which is just another way of saying that I had an agenda for this post that is currently on hold). As I realized that I couldn't recall the second thought I had some quick thoughts of disappointment and a frantic memory search. Then the realization that if I truly dial in the first thought, Stay Connected, all else will fall into place. Maybe I was starting my own religion of "3 thoughts"...by that I mean creating a structure for myself that placed more emphasis on the structure and following the "rules" (even if they were self imposed) than allowing the Life of God to flow through me. So I just added to the title line...

If I live as I was designed to live, in constant connection to God, my life will have meaning, purpose, joy, hope and more in abundance. The challenge is to let go of my agenda, of my small and pitiful ideas of what will bring true joy and satisfaction and trust the author to write my story like I know He has, He can, and He will. This will happen on the macro scale with the 'big' decisions and on the micro scale, the moment by moment awareness of my relationship with God and whether I'm open or closed, running to or avoiding, listening or ignoring. The micro, as it turns out, is more important than the macro as all 'big' decisions are a culmination or result of many small decisions. The most important decision I can make right now is to be as connected to God as the branch is to the vine.

It will be interesting to see if that second thought comes back to me...

when i die

I just had a thought that I wanted to capture about what I hope is said at my memorial service. It's not something I think about often but a facebook post about a funeral by someone else sparked the idea.

"In all the appropriate ways he didn't care what anyone thought. In all other ways, he cared deeply what everyone thought. and listened well"

The Monkey Story

borrowed from Kit Pharro: Email: Kit@PharoCattle.com Website: www.PharoCattle.com

The Monkey Story –

First, you start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result – all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked, and the previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey, then a fourth, and then the fifth.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey will ever again approach the stairs to try for the banana. Why not?

Because… as far as they know, that's the way it's always been done around here. And that, my dear friends, is how most ... traditions get started."

what script am i living?

Last week I went to Clarks football teams fundraiser: "comedy night". I don't think the guy told one joke all night but for almost 2 hours he had me laughing harder than I've laughed in at least 10 years. I almost fell out of my chair and kept having to wipe the tears away. He was a hypnotist and he has the special ability of hypnotizing multiple people at once in public. I've seen this from a distance at the OC Fair but didn't stick around long enough to really appreciate what they were doing. He called for volunteers into a crowd of mostly high school students and out of about 300 kids and 20 or so parents, he ended up with about 25 kids on stage, girls and guys- many football players included.

I won't, and shouldn't, recount everything he did with these kids but it was at the same time ROFL funny and completely fascinating. He had them totally under his command and control so that whenever he 'woke' them from their deep sleep they would act immediately on the cue that he had told them about. It's hard to pick my favorites because he raised the bar with each new act. One time he told them that when they heard the phone ring, they needed to quickly answer their 'shoe phone' because it was their favorite celebrity and they needed to tell their favorite celebrity how great they were. And it was ok to exaggerate! Well, he woke them up (and when I say 'woke' I mean they set up straight but were still in a little bit of a daze, not completely limp like they were when they got the instructions) He proceeded to chat with them and as he was talking, his assistant rang a bell. Immediately they ALL grabbed their shoe like a phone and started talking a mile a minute! some were gesturing with their hands and using body language. One guy walked over to the back of the stage and plugged his other ear! Then...the hypnotist proceeded to interview them!!! One girl was talking to Justin Beiber "yeah, baby!" and then another guy said "I'm talking to Taylor Swift!" and when told to tell Taylor something awesome about himself he said "I play football!"

I'm sure that part of what made it so funny was that i knew some of the kids, including big football players who, at one point were told they needed to pose because they were super models. Another time he told two students that they could speak perfect Chinese and also that they were "laughter police" so if they saw anyone in the audience laughing they needed to tell them off. I think that was one time I almost fell out of my chair- watching this guy 'speaking' Chinese and using karate motions as he told off the laughing audience. They must have performed at least 20 different acts that were each better than the one before. Super hilarious!!!

But very fascinating too. I don't know the physiology or psychology of hypnotism but I do know that it's real, that is to say the students were completely under the spell of this guy and they literally were acting in unison like robots. The implications of this are very eye opening. What would a person do if they are under hypnosis? I'm told that normal inhibitions apply so that if someone is told to do something they consider to be wrong, they won't do it. That's nice to know but I have to take this outside the entertainment world and make a life application.

Hypnotism is acting from a script that is placed intentionally in your head. Is not life acting on scripts that are placed intentionally AND unintentionally in our heads by us AND by others? What are the implications of acting on scripts that are placed unintentionally? What are the implications of acting on scrips that are place intentionally by others? Who could others be? What role does TV, movies, music have in placing scripts in our heads? What would prevent a script from being written over to make what once used to be considered wrong, now considered OK?

And now it gets personal. What scripts do I repeat inside my own head (if not actually out loud) that are a life draining, dysfunctional script? "I can't do that", " I suck", " I'm not good at that", " I'll never get there" , "why do bad things always happen to me?" , "I always fail so why try?" and on. and on... What are the consequences of living scripts that are negative and destructive?

Where to find the right scripts? The scripts that are life giving, positive, encouraging and wonderful? The best scripts ever are written by the Author of Life and they can be found scattered throughout SCRIPTURE. How about these? "I'm created to be exactly what God intended me to be","I'm forgiven" "I'm a child of the KING!" "My life is safe and secure in Jesus" "I've been redeemed" "There is NO condemnation for me" "I will reign forever with God"

What scripts are you living? Who gave them to you? Do you want to rewrite some of them?

perspective and string theory

The need for an introduction is present when a thought is about to be downloaded so - (or maybe it's a disclaimer) - warning: this idea is half-baked. do not ingest without proper preparation.

Two people looking at the same object report seeing different shapes. One sees a circle, the other a square. No tricks or gimmicks involved and in fact, they are both right. They then have a conversation about their observations. It could go something like: they both comment, they both doubt the other person, they both doubt themselves, they reassert their view, they don't trust the other person, they stop talking thinking the other person is out of their mind (you really can't confuse a circle with a square).

I've had some conversations like that. It really seemed like there was no room for compromise - a black and white issue.

That's true in a 2 dimensional world. A circle is not a square and there is no middle ground.

Everything changes in a 3 dimensional world. The object above is a cylinder and one view is from the side and the other view is from the front. Each person, from their perspective, sees a different shape yet the true object is greater than either perspective. In fact, it's greater than both perspectives combined.

Translation to life, for me: be aware that there are perspectives different than mine of something that may seem so clear to me.

String theory is way beyond my ability to grasp. My last physics class was all Newtonian and this is quantum mechanics. String theory works in world of 10 dimensions (one version needs 11). This requires serious thinking outside the box because the world we interact with includes 4 dimensions (space x,y,z and time). We (ok, I) don't have the mental framework to imagine a 5th dimension, let alone 6 more dimensions but the formulas all work on this level. This is the place where...no, this is the realm that can have one thing occuping two places at the same time and (where) an x particle can be vibrating and not vibrating at the same time. Does your head hurt yet? There is a point...

Translation to life, for me: whether or not there is actually 6 other dimensions does not affect my reason for living BUT the idea that God lives in all dimensions gives me a tiny idea of how limited my perspective is on ANYTHING and allows a sense of wonder and humility, knowing that God knows all and the best man can do (in this realm) is to chase Him. I can chase Him through science (no thanks, but I'm fascinated by those who do) I can chase Him in many ways and I know that He wants me to. He wants me to "seek His face" I like that. A relationship with the One who knows all AND loves me.

Also: the implications for reconciliation are huge. There is no room for judging. I only know my own perspective. I can expand my perspective by moving closer to you and seeing yours. I can exponentially expand my perspective by moving closer to God and seeing His. The potential for unity through diversity because of wonder and humility is both huge and gratifying.

Miracle from 2009

Another blast from the past that I don't want to forget. This is an email I sent to those who were praying about my stolen laptop:

Before I tell the story I want to thank all of you that prayed, helped, and felt my pain. Even though I was super discouraged at times, I felt very supported. THANKS!!!

Wed, April 15 – early am – my laptop and case were stolen out of my truck in the driveway. I had just put my backup memory stick in the case the day before. My ipod, three check books, credit cards, contractors license card and plenty of paper files and work diary were in the case as well. I filed a police report and got the feeling that it was a lost cause. I sent an email right away to many of you asking to pray for a miracle. That night my neighbor was filing a report for a car stereo also stolen at the same time. (my back up stick was always at the office- I had just decided the day before to bring it home figuring it would be safer. I had 3 years of business history, including templates on Word, Excel, and Project that I had custom made. The loss of this kept sinking in through the week, as I realized the extent of the loss was incalculable)

Most of the rest of the week was spent dealing with banks, credit agencies, and transferring auto debits. The thieves had used my email account for some unethical purposes and had access to all of my contacts- about 1500) I have a blackberry that I sync to my outlook so I did retain my contacts and calendar. Friday I bought a laptop online. I was actually ready for a new one as my Q key doesn’t work.

Saturday a guy from Corona called to say he found some of my paperwork discarded in an empty lot in Corona near his home. (better than nothing but I was still dying inside thinking of the loss)

Sunday Lyle loaned me his laptop to use and Cheri picked up the papers in Corona. The week was better emotionally as I gave up hope and decided to put it behind me and move on.

Thursday I went to my office, ‘read’ the paper (which is more like flipping the pages to see if anything catches my eye). Nothing caught my attention so I threw it out and opened my email to see that Dave sent an article from the Register about an arrest in Laguna Beach involving guys stealing laptops, etc. from vehicles. The guys are from Corona. My hope shot up to a 10 as I made calls to: the reporter, the LB PD, the OC Sheriff and waited.….

Here’s the word from Dave on seeing that article – Dave doesn’t even get the Register and hasn’t read it for over a year. He was taking his wife to the airport early in the morning and happened to see one in an unusual place and decided to pick it up. He never reads the section that the article was in but for ‘some reason’ decided to. When he saw the reference to Corona he thought of me and what I had told him earlier that week.

Thursday morning the LB PD called me and confirmed that the laptop in the article belonged to someone in LB had already been returned (Hope dropped again)

Thursday afternoon investigator Sims says that two suspects have admitted to 5 thefts in my neighborhood (about 15 miles from LB, where they were arrested, and 30 miles from Corona where they live). He told me that they released the suspects and would be working with them that night in Corona in a type of sting operation. (Hope rises again- my buddy Shaun called the hope-o-coaster)

Friday morning, April 24 investigator Sims left a message saying that one suspect said he threw it away (this is 9 days later). The other suspect said he sold it for $100. I didn’t even call the investigator back as hope is now gone for good. In an email to Glen though, I mentioned that a miracle is still possible.

Friday night in the middle of a movie, I recognize the number on my ringing phone as the investigator.

Sims “how ya doin?”

Me “I’m Ok I guess”

Sims “probably be better if you had your laptop, huh?”

Me “are you kidding me?”

Sims “why would I kid you? Come and get it!”

It would have been interesting to see my brain wave and heart graph at that point as the hope meter pegged out.

9:00 pm I had my laptop and it appears that I have not lost any documents or emails. I asked Sims if this was a miracle (rhetorical question to me). Sims “We get really lucky sometimes, this computer had changed hands at least 3 times”

Learnings – oh, forgot to mention that the Monday before the laptop was stolen I got an email from my business coach talking about staying in the learning zone vs. the comfort zone or the panic zone. This idea helped me keep perspective as I also knew that God knew and I could trust him. I realized how much of my identity was wrapped up in what I had done- I felt really lost as all my systems had vanished. I won’t be leaving valuables in my car overnight. Also the investigator told me to not use my remote lock to lock my car. Thieves have technology to intercept the signal and reuse it to unlock later. I also will (and already have) use online back ups. iDrive and Carbonite are two that were recommended. Asking for prayer is critical, I should do it more. Gratitude is a great state of mind.

Thanks again!

J.

an old email

I found this when I was looking for something else. It's the end of email I wrote responding to a business associate who had really disappointed me and my client. It's one of those things I should read more often:

....I have come to the point in my life (it took me long enough) to realize that I can’t do ANYTHING apart from my Creator. Sure, I would have agreed with that intellectually but my life did not demonstrate it. (My personal view of integrity is the size of the gap between what I say I believe and how I actually live). God used some difficult times to show me how desperate life is without Him. It would amaze me that I could go through a difficult time and become so close to God, realizing how I really did need Him and then slowly start thinking that I could do fine on my own and not really keep that relationship alive. I would characterize about 20 years of my life in that cycle. I would like to think that I won’t ever go down that independent path again but, in fact, I start down that path about 30 times a day! It’s just natural to look out for myself and pride has many faces- It’s so unnatural to look to God and beg for help but I realized as our Father, that’s what he wants. He makes a point throughout the Bible in stories and in black and white that He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. And scripture teaches us to “humble yourself” – interesting that it’s something that I can do myself. Better me than anyone else and better me than God actually. He prefers that I humble myself. How? Whenever I think of it, I ask God to help me. It’s that simple. But He knows my heart, my intentions, my motives and He knows if I’m just repeating some words or if it’s coming from deep within. “Help me” communicates to Him that I need His strength to draw my next breath, to think my next sane thought, to be His light in this world. It also nips pride in the bud. I love watching some baseball players look and point up after a good play or winning the game- it’s a great visual on giving God the credit and not taking it myself. But I’m a work in progress too and I hope that God can use me to cause others to look and point up.