Loving, yet not approving

This is huge, God help me get it right here.... I've been in a couple of situations with people that have made bad choices and hurt me. My challenge is to love them while not approving of their words, actions, attitudes, etc. Is it possible? I have to think so, to try and hope that I can.

I'm talking about real love, not just a "virtual/spiritual" idea that doesn't express itself. I want to experience and express this kind of unconditional love which I know God has. So I'm thinking out loud: God loves everyone- even those that ignore, blaspheme, misrepresent and accuse Him. He has demonstrated this on a personal level and on a macro scale (if we have ears to hear and eyes to see). We (who follow) have been given the ministry of reconciliation, which in it's healthiest expression, is holistic - not just words but also actions-not just head but also heart. This light seems to shine the brightest where it is darkest so while the normal person will love those that love them, it is something special to love in spite of rejection and ridicule. Jesus Christ is my ultimate example and coupled with the last post of a theme "just do it", I want to act out love even when I don't "feel" like it. The feelings catch right up - a lot faster that the actions catch up when I think about doing it for too long. "Delayed obedience is disobedience" is what I remember hearing in our class on raising kids. And I'm still a child of God so I'll accept that.

The hard part for me is that God loves someone more than we ever could and still lets them ruin their life and others'. In some cases He intervenes and in others it appears that He doesn't. I'm not sure how to translate that when, for example, it's my own child that's making bad choices. The level of intervention wanes as they age but never goes away. I catch myself asking "how much I should intervene?" when my main focus should be "how much love can I show?". If and when intervention is needed, it will be framed in this context of relationship and love-far more effective than just an authoritarian style cut-the-losses rescue.

This "love showing" will speak to others like nothing else can and gives an accurate representation of God, which makes reconciliation easier and more desirable. Can I handle and be truthful asking "what is my agenda?", "what is God's agenda?" and "is there a difference?" For me it pretty much boils down to dieing to my own agenda/self and accepting (acting on) God's agenda. Yesterday was a test, by email, of precisely this and I really wanted at first to not offer grace but ended up acting on what I knew God would want. Guess what? the feelings followed-and right away. About as fast as I committed to giving the grace, my feeling changed toward the person. Dying sounds pretty extreme, but that's how it's called by Paul. Actually 'put to death'- basically kill it. I've been hearing that for the last three Sundays now and know that's what it takes. So it comes down to killing in order to love. THAT's a paradox!

Changing belief systems

This was the title of a recent sales seminar I attended, which is why I went. But it's also what I want to do- not in a wholesale way but in respect to things that I can see that need to be changed.
After all, I've concluded that belief is demonstrated through life. Beliefs are meaningless, even worse than worthless if they aren't evident in my life. Why worse? Because it reinforces the idea that I can intellectually subscribe to one thing and live another-an idea straight from the enemies playbook.

I just read in a book to "act yourself into new ways of thinking, don't try to think yourself into new ways of acting". The point being, to me, is to just starting doing, being, acting what I want to believe instead of trying to get it all sorted out straight in my head before living it. It's a type of paradox I guess and it can activate my hypocrisy meter but the alternatives aren't attractive. For me personally I fight a little bit of perfectionism- thinking that it all has to be in place before it's implemented. That's critical for sending a man to the moon but this is just life and part of growing is falling down a little and learning how to walk better. Grateful and humble- a good posture for changing....

Praying

Have you ever prayed and not realized it?

At some point in my life I understood that folded hands and closed eyes were not essential to God hearing me. I know now, having kids, that those are great habits to keep from being distracted. I still remember praying in the car as a kid with my family and thinking how cool it was to be Dad, because he got to keep his eyes open. So I grew up with a habit (good for beginning) and have thought alot about prayer/praying lately. The scripture that will not leave me alone is "pray without ceasing". I'm sure the commentaries have much to say about this (haven't read them so I'm not debating) but I think it wouldn't be there if it weren't possible. Oh yeah, just had a memory of a guy from my childhood church (I was 11-19 yrs old) who would slip into KJV language when praying in public (I'm guessing in private, too). I know plenty of people who revert to their mother tounge because it's their "heart language", but switching to a "prayer language"? Now that I say it like that, I hear a vocabulary from some people that only comes out in public prayer- when's the last time I heard "bestow" anywhere except a prayer? I digress...

So I say it must be possible to pray without ceasing (we're not told to do anything impossible-with Christ all things are possible) And if this is the premise, it requires changing perceptions, definitions, or expectations about praying. To pray:
do I have to stop all other activity?
can i pray while driving? while walking? while talking? while thinking about something else?

Maybe because of our human experience and call waiting, we think that we have to put one conversation on hold before beginning another. God, however, can and does hear millions (billions?) of people at the same time. And He hears us think. No need to be vocal. He knows nothing of call waiting. He can read my mind. This is either terrifying or comforting.

My mental image of praying non-stop is a continuous conversation in our head that includes God in the loop. We always have a thought stream going, even when we're daydreaming. When we choose to close the loop and not let God in, we are in a dysfunctional, independant, not-what-we-were-made-to-do place. This is our history, this is our natural bent-to be self-legislating and independant. We were created for connection though and when we are connected, we know this is where we belong.

There is also some human or western tendancy to seperate prayer from everyday conversation. At a family dinner, I'll actually interrupt a good conversation to "pray" because the food is getting cold, hoping that the conversation will pick back up again when I'm done. I know that it's OK to start praying without eating but I also know that when you let something slip, then enemy would be more than happy to just let it dissappear. What about this: we sit down and the conversation starts and we talk about God and thank Him with our eyes open to each other and carry on the conversation about God/to God? I would love to blur the line and include talking to God and about God in regular conversations.

Another related thought:
Jonah 2 quotes Jonahs prayer inside the fish- Jonah talks about talking to God in his prayer. That wouldn't fit inside my previous prayer box but there it is. How can you be talking to someone when you're talking about them? This is God we're talking about, not just anyone. God considered it a prayer when Jonah was talking about God.

commuting or commotion?

As I ride the action verb wave of titles I come to a Y. This weekend I was challenged to morph "community" with a sense of life, growth, or fluidness (new word?) so two possible combos are commuting (community with the generic "ing" or "mutating") or commotion (...with motion).
Others: commovement (that sounds big business combine-a-name or gov't), commending (nice, if it wasn't already taken)

I'm reading "the forgotten ways" by Alan Hirsch and just found his blog today (even posted). Highly recommended to me and from me about the essence of reproducing the life of Christ, mostly in a community context. I won't attempt to review the book, especially because I'm not finished, but it is non-hype, non-trendy, solid, thought provoking-hopefully life changing words.

The challenge- allow myself to be changed by my community as they are led by the Spirit under the Lordship of Christ. I can do this. Not. Christ in me. It comes full circle. Love it!