Loving, yet not approving

This is huge, God help me get it right here.... I've been in a couple of situations with people that have made bad choices and hurt me. My challenge is to love them while not approving of their words, actions, attitudes, etc. Is it possible? I have to think so, to try and hope that I can.

I'm talking about real love, not just a "virtual/spiritual" idea that doesn't express itself. I want to experience and express this kind of unconditional love which I know God has. So I'm thinking out loud: God loves everyone- even those that ignore, blaspheme, misrepresent and accuse Him. He has demonstrated this on a personal level and on a macro scale (if we have ears to hear and eyes to see). We (who follow) have been given the ministry of reconciliation, which in it's healthiest expression, is holistic - not just words but also actions-not just head but also heart. This light seems to shine the brightest where it is darkest so while the normal person will love those that love them, it is something special to love in spite of rejection and ridicule. Jesus Christ is my ultimate example and coupled with the last post of a theme "just do it", I want to act out love even when I don't "feel" like it. The feelings catch right up - a lot faster that the actions catch up when I think about doing it for too long. "Delayed obedience is disobedience" is what I remember hearing in our class on raising kids. And I'm still a child of God so I'll accept that.

The hard part for me is that God loves someone more than we ever could and still lets them ruin their life and others'. In some cases He intervenes and in others it appears that He doesn't. I'm not sure how to translate that when, for example, it's my own child that's making bad choices. The level of intervention wanes as they age but never goes away. I catch myself asking "how much I should intervene?" when my main focus should be "how much love can I show?". If and when intervention is needed, it will be framed in this context of relationship and love-far more effective than just an authoritarian style cut-the-losses rescue.

This "love showing" will speak to others like nothing else can and gives an accurate representation of God, which makes reconciliation easier and more desirable. Can I handle and be truthful asking "what is my agenda?", "what is God's agenda?" and "is there a difference?" For me it pretty much boils down to dieing to my own agenda/self and accepting (acting on) God's agenda. Yesterday was a test, by email, of precisely this and I really wanted at first to not offer grace but ended up acting on what I knew God would want. Guess what? the feelings followed-and right away. About as fast as I committed to giving the grace, my feeling changed toward the person. Dying sounds pretty extreme, but that's how it's called by Paul. Actually 'put to death'- basically kill it. I've been hearing that for the last three Sundays now and know that's what it takes. So it comes down to killing in order to love. THAT's a paradox!