Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thank you!!!

I woke up at 1:30am with so much gratitude it literally felt like my heart would explode. It's an hour later now and, while escaping cardiac arrest, I'm still overwhelmed with thankfulness. My best effort in writing will fall short of the whole emotion and energy of it but, so here it is: God has put people in my life that are just amazing. Maybe they're not celebrities to others but they have affected me to my core in ways that i don't have the vocabulary for. I want to name them all and I still might but i know i wouldn't do justice to the task, too many- and with my memory... well 'nuf said.

My left brain struggles to keep up with my right brain in moments like this but a thought that occurred to me is that I'm reaping what I sowed. Yesterday I was on a high of just pumping others up. I'm not sure what sparked it but it just went all day long- through email, on twitter, in person and in my prayers. I had some kind of increased vision of how special each person was that was in my life, intentional or not, and I just wanted to love them and let them know it. What came back was messages via text, facebook, twitter, email, phone calls and in person that were so encouraging that it's literally overflowing my capacity to feel it all and express it.

How i wish technology could take my heart and put in it writing. words are feeling inadequate. so when i woke up my heart/chest/soul/whatever felt so full that i wondered if I was (physically) OK. My mind kept moving from person to person, thanking God that He connected us (see last post, "like a freeway")

I'm going for it here as this is mainly my journal and if i think of more later, I'll just edit or add a comment :) Cheri, Dad&Mom, Todd, Ben, Kara, Clark, Jacob, Lane&Josie, Jael, Jewel, Jena,Ralph&Jacquie, Christy, Kim, Daniel&Cindy, Jeff&Rocio, Jeff F, Erik R, Eric P, Shaun&Maria, Lyle, David&Karen, John R x 3, Mike, Steve G, Scott W, Harold&Marilyn, Doug&Carol,John S,Gary B x 2, Bob S, Gerardo M, Russ Y, Steve M, Jason L, Phil, Brian T, Annette, Brian G(RIP), Chris L x2, Dan P, Don&Sunbeam, Don M, Dale, Glen R, Glen W x 2, Kenny N, Kenny&Kathy, Kevin (RIP), Gene P, Brett R, Brett S, Gma S (RIP), Gmpa/ma H (RIP), Gina P, Rochelle V, Tim T-S, Claude&Kelley, Mike T, John M, Brian M, Dismas, John S, Mark B, Mark L, Stan S, Chris B, Dave L, Dave A, Chuck A (RIP), Al, Frank, Carl, Randy S, Jeff S, Thom, Kyle, Gordon, Floyd, Louie, Jay, Jon Hx2, Rob H, Jesse G, Jesse L, Jessah P-M, Michelle, Kyoko&Hiro, John&Karen, Mark K, Mark&Yvette, John&Kathy, Ron&Janice, Scott&Kathy, Juan C, Juan&Lydia, Daniel M, Patty L, Doug H, Kristin S, Anne G, Alan D, Cody F, Ron H, John C, Jim E, German&Ester, Milton, Paul T, Bridgett...

Others I can see their face and hear their voice but can't think of their names like my English professor in college-wow, I'm glad I wrote you a letter way back when I remembered. Then there are whole groups/communities that would add hundreds- it's just mind blowing. If this is a small taste of heaven, I'm literally not ready yet for the full deal unless I have the increased capacity to absorb it. Part of me wanted to jump out of bed and start writing thank you notes (note to self-start that habit again) and another part of me just wanted to stay in the moment. It was ecstasy in communion with God- surreal but yet more real, almost like a new dimension. Now it's 3:30 and I'm in wonder of this gift of a moment. To think of having that continual high for eternity is really too much to comprehend. And how to communicate that to others?

This morning I was in a meeting and the MC gave credit to "the universe" for something. I thought, wow, that's about as big as you can get-but so unpersonal. The reality that I have a relationship with it's creator is....well....I'm speechless... with awe and gratitude. Thank you GOD!
Just "THANK YOU" forever....

3 comments:

Editorial LiderInnova said...

Hi J
God has given you a big loving heart to reach out. You are always in our memories like a solier of God focused on his mission for the kingdom.
It is my prayer to see you again when God let us be again in California.
Remember you have a family and a home here in Costa Ricas as in our hearts
Be blessed brother

J Steele said...

Thank you Juan Carlos. I was just talking to my pastor about my time with you and your people. What a great memory. Thanks for staying in touch and hope to see you soon!

Sharon G said...

I think you did a wonderful job explaining :-)